Nurturing financial well-being is an act of selflove
Tanvi's story - from revenge spending to finding a judgement-free advice.
A few weeks back, one of my dearest friends Tanvi was in Goa for a holiday with her sister, and cousins. We hung out and had a blast, as we always do.
Tanvi and I met in our 20s. We were paying guests at Cadra Bungalow (Bandra). She was the first person who told me I was funny. Being a firm believer of “flattery gets you everywhere”, we became fast friends!
As friends we talked about everything - relationships, work, ambition. Or so, I thought. But when I began writing stories on women and money, I realised how little I knew about her struggles, or triumphs. In this blog, Tanvi gave me permission to pen nuggets from her journey - from self-sabotage to chasing financial well-being.
Over the years, many women have confided in me about their distrust of the financial industry; the judgement and predatory practices towards women consumers, made them wary. I believe Tanvi’s experience of finding a judgment-free financial advisor, offers a brief, yet, powerful perspective that may benefit other women as they navigate their financial journeys.
Revenge Spending in the Early Years
Tanvi grew up in an middle-class household in 80s Calcutta. As time went by, her father prospered through his business. Yet, despite this shift, her parents continued to be extremely prudent with their spending.
“Growing up, I always felt that money was the key criterion for all decision-making. There was no space for a child's whims and desires, “ recalls Tanvi.
When she began earning a regular pay check, she rebelled against the savings mindset. According to her, this mindset had made her feel deprived in the childhood years.
“I was almost “revenge spending”, trying to make up for all the unfulfilled material desires. That meant I did not save anything in the early years of my career. I started very late and feel that I missed out all compounding advantages of savings, “ shares Tanvi.
(PS: Revenge spending (also known a doom spending) refers to the tendency to overspend or splurge on goods and services, after a period of being unable to shop)
It was only in her late 20s and early 30s, that Tanvi connected the dots between money, security and goals. So, she began experimenting with some investments on her own (a mix of mutual funds and stocks) with a little advice from friends. She earmarked an amount every month but felt ill-equipped to take decisions. Tanvi candidly admits that she had neither the time nor interest in keeping an active eye on her investments.
One day she came across a very persuasive newspaper article penned by a financial advisor (FA). “I got in touch with him over email. This was followed by a deep-dive call. I went into the conversation with no expectations, but full honesty about my life stage, anxiety and aspirations,“ recalls Tanvi.
“No judgement” Seeds Trust
In a world where women are apprehensive of trusting financial products, brands and experts, I was curious to know what earned him Tanvi’s trust.
“The FA took me through his personal investment philosophy. He also took time to understand what I wanted, over some long phone calls. He wasn't judgmental at any point (I was a divorced, single woman, sole-earning member for family, paying off loans). He only advised me about how I should look at money as a part of my overall life. For instance, he was forthcoming about giving me a realistic picture (I was under-investing for future goals), along with a pathway to get on track. That gave me comfort and the confidence to get started, “ she shares.
Staying Accountable
Though Tanvi’s experience of having an FA has been very good, she has not let go of the reigns. “Every few months, I make sure to check the performance of my portfolio myself. There are times when I have spotted an asset not performing well and brought it to his notice. The FA is prompt with my queries and his investment strategy has paid good returns for my medium risk profile, “she shares.
Tanvi’s equation with the FA is an engaged one. Off and on, she discusses other avenues/ instruments of investments. Also, key financial decisions that need to be made at various life stages (like getting married or buying a new car).
A Relationship of Equals
There’s a lot we can take away from Tanvi’s experiences. Here are her perspectives that can benefit women looking to appoint an FA.
“See if the FA makes you comfortable about your own risk appetite and is not forcing their ideas. You should not at any point, feel small or underconfident in their presence.
It is a relationship of equals - they have a skill that could benefit you, and you have the money.
While an FA is not your therapist, they should be able to guide you through large financial situations.And you should be able to trust them enough to share all your desires - reasonable or otherwise. “
Today, when I meet Tanvi, she strikes me as a secure woman who exudes effortless confidence. She is calm. She works out every day, travels and reads extensively, and her style is always on point!
Much gratitude to her for sharing these useful nuggets. On a different note, I encourage women to share their challenges, experiences, and perspectives about money, with those you consider your true gal pals. Also, celebrate the successes. I find that the bonds only strengthens, with time.
If you’d like to share your money journeys, perspectives, and milestones, reach out and let’s have a conversation. Your story may find its way into this blog!